The Story of How I Saved Sasuke
by kally77
Summary: The Story of How I, Uzumaki Naruto, the Greatest Ninja That Ever Lived, Saved Uchiha Sasuke from the Rabid Fangirls of Doom. // crack!fic. SasuNaruSasu. Spoilers for recent manga story arcs.
1. Like Old Times

_A/N: For Kantayra's birthday - because she so totally rocks. SasuNaruSasu. Two more parts to come after this one.  
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_Disclaimer: The characters and the world they live in don't belong to me. Should their rightful owner request it of me, i would take this not-for-profit fanfic offline. This actual story and the sentences that compose it, on the other hand, are mine, and no, it is not acceptable for someone else to copy/paste what i wrote and use it in their own writing. Apparently this is not as obvious as i thought it was..._

_Rated M for adult situations and language._

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**The Story of How I, Uzumaki Naruto, the Greatest Ninja That Ever Lived,**

**Saved Uchiha Sasuke from the Rabid Fangirls of Doom**

**(aka The Story of How I Fucked the Bastard)**

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Part 1 - Like Old Times

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When the bastard came back to Konoha, there wasn't much of a Konoha left. Which, granted, is not a good thing, but if he had to come back like he did, I guess it was the best possible timing. See, apparently he intended to destroy Konoha. No Konoha, no destroying, no need for me to kick his sorry ass extra-hard.

His timing was good too because he showed up just when that asshole Danzou decided to make his move. I was just a bit busy with Pain at the time, and everybody else was too hurt or exhausted to do much about Danzou and his bunch of traitors. When Sasuke realized who he was, he just went in for the kill. No angry accusations or grand declarations about his honor and his clan or stuff… yeah, he's not as emo as he looks.

He told us, when it was all over, about why he had a thing against Danzou. Well, after Tsunade sat him down and pestered him long enough, he did. She was shocked. We all were. His vow that he'd kill the elders too shocked us all a bit more – except, you know, they were already dead what with the village being leveled and all. Of course, we didn't know that they were dead at the time. We didn't know who was alive or dead for a while. That happens when there's nothing but crumbling rocks in your village.

I still had a bit of chakra left, because I'm totally awesome like that, so I made a ton of clones and started clearing out the debris to look for survivors. Everybody who was feeling good enough joined in. Not Sasuke or his gang, though. At least, not at first. Team Bastard just sat on the edge of town, arguing between them, until I went and punched Sasuke right on the nose.

OK, so I tried to punch him; I didn't actually land a blow. I guess he didn't spend all his time being molested by the snake creep and got some training in too. But it's the intention that counts, right?

So, I told him that if he wanted the elders dead, he'd have to help find them first. He rolled his eyes at me, and it was a bit like having the old Sasuke back. Except, the old Sasuke didn't dress that badly or hang out with losers like these three. Sakura-chan is way prettier than that Karin girl. A lot nicer, too. And I'm ten times cooler and stronger than the other two combined. But anyway.

The four of them argued a bit more, and then they helped. Karin was especially helpful to find people who still had some chakra. And I guess Juugo was all right too, with the super strength, but he was a bit creepy. The other one just watched for a while and then he said he had better things to do and he left. Good riddance, if you ask me. I didn't like the way he looked at Sasuke.

All in all, we worked for the rest of the day, and then all night. By morning, we had all the survivors, but we kept working. Now, we were looking for our dead. Too many of them, way too many. I should have been there, I should have—

Right. I was telling you about Sasuke.

I don't remember who found the elders, but I remember Tsunade came to get Sasuke right away, and she told him, and then she asked him what he intended to do now. He wanted to see them. He stood over their bodies for a while, not talking or anything. I was afraid he'd run off again, so I was ready. I was standing close with a couple of clones, and ready to rasengan him until he cried uncle. I mean, now that he was back, he was going to stay whether he wanted it or not. Not that there was a place for him or anyone else to stay, really, but it's just the principle of the thing.

When he was done glaring the bodies down into submission, he looked around him and his eyes fell on me. I swear, for a second, he almost looked… I know it's going to sound stupid, but he looked a bit lost. It twisted my guts to see him like that. Or maybe I was just hungry.

So, he didn't run. He glared at me and asked what I was looking at. You'd think a genius would have figured out I was looking at him, since, you know, my eyes were on him and all.

"I'm looking at a bastard," I said.

He grunted. And then he tried to punch me. He totally chose the wrong Naruto, though, and just dispelled one of my clones. If you ask him, he refuses to say whether he wanted to hit a clone or to hit me. I guess he can't admit he got confused, just like he can't admit he didn't really want to hit me.

After that, we went back to clearing out the village. I think… I think he just needed something to do. Something to take his mind off other things. Just manual labor, the kind that leaves you achy all over, and your mind too tired to even dream. Sometimes, it's good not to dream.

Karin left the second day, but Juugo stuck around. Apparently, he stuck around because Sasuke did. I don't care much about Juugo, but I was glad Sasuke was back. Working all together, we cleared the ground of the village, we buried our dead, and we started rebuilding. After a few days, Suna sent help, because Gaara's cool like that – just don't tell Sasuke I said so. Other villages helped too. I'm not sure why. Tsunade said it was historic and all. Not sure why either. If you ask me, age is catching up with her and she's becoming a bit gaga. I kind of feel bad about calling her old, now. But at least, she kept her wit long enough to do this really long speech and it was full of hope and nice and… well, yeah, I fell asleep in the middle of it. But Sakura-chan summarized it for me. Tsunade said the Will of Fire lived. Of course it does. We're Konoha. We're not going to let some deluded idiot with weird-ass eyes take us down.

Wait – I meant Pain, there, not Sasuke, you got that, right?

Three weeks after the attack, the village was up and running. We were accepting missions, and new settlers were coming in every day. Every time I left for a mission, I never knew what Konoha would look like when I returned. We got a new monument to the dead. Before all that, I never understood why Kakashi-sensei went to the old one so often, but when I saw the names of all the people I knew on that stone, when I saw his name there… yeah, I got it. I wish he could have seen Sasuke come back, and Team Seven reunited at last.

Because, it was. Reunited I mean. At first, Sasuke didn't want to. But I convinced him.

"You're scared," I said when I came back from my first mission with Sakura-chan and Sai.

Sasuke just looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

"You're scared you're going to see just how much better I've become. And then you'll have to admit you didn't have to run off and you could have learned amazing stuff if you had just stayed home. Although you couldn't have become as good as me 'cause I'm the great Uzumaki Naruto and Ka— and everybody says I'll become ever greater than the Fourth Hokage! "

He stared a bit longer. And then he called me dead last, and said some idiotic stuff about how he's better than I could ever imagine, blah blah, just making himself sound important. All like old times. And then we fought, like old times too. Maybe we got a bit carried away. We broke some stuff. Tsunade was mad. I don't think I had ever seen her that mad – or maybe that one time when I hid her sake. She beat us both over the head. She told me that if I intended to be Hokage, I'd better try not to destroy the village. And then she told Sasuke that if he planned on staying in Konoha, he had better start doing some missions and getting money in. He turned up his nose and said he didn't give a damn about Konoha.

"Why did you stay, then?" Tsunade asked. "Nobody's stopping you, Uchiha. We've got enough to do without worrying about missing-nin."

He gave me that weird look when she said no one was stopping him, like he knew I was definitely going to stop him if he tried to go anywhere.

The next day, he showed up at the Tower. He didn't say anything, but when Tsunade handed me the next assignment for my team, he stepped forward. He had found a new forehead protector somewhere, and he was dressed like us – like a jounin, I mean, except with his clan emblem on his back. Tsunade rolled her eyes a bit, but she sent him off with us. I was still captain, though, so he had to obey me. That was fun – or rather, I thought it'd be fun, but Sasuke was his usual pain in the butt self, and he wouldn't do handstands when I told him to. And then Sakura punched me, and Sai said I wasn't a good leader because I lacked… well, never mind what Sai said. The mission went fine, so that proves I am a great leader, and I'll be a great Hokage too. And as the rest of the story will prove, I do have a dick. A mighty fine one too, if I may say so myself.

On the third night, when we were returning home and stopped for the night, Sasuke went off by himself. I'll admit I got scared when I realized he wasn't in his sleeping bag anymore. I had just turned my back for a second, and poof, he was gone. Except, without the 'poof' noise. I was sure he was gone for good, and it hurt, you know? He'd done that to me once, left without a goodbye or anything, and I wasn't going to let it happen again.

I didn't wake up Sakura-chan or Sai. I just made a bunch of clones, and launched them in all directions to find him. He was sitting on the riverbank, not very far from the camp. I thought he'd run when I got there, but he just looked at me, acknowledged me with a nod, and went back to throwing little rocks in the water. I was confused. A lot.

"I thought you'd run off," I said, and only when I heard myself did I realize I sounded angry.

Sasuke shrugged. He didn't even look at me. "Where would I go?" he asked, very quietly.

I don't think he expected an answer. I didn't have one to give. But I did understand in that moment why he had stayed in Konoha, and why he wouldn't leave anymore. He was just like our village. Shaken down to his very foundations. He'd lost everything. But he wouldn't let it destroy him, and he was rebuilding from scratch. I liked that.

"I'm glad you came back," I said. I'm not too sure why I did. He knew that already, and when he looked at me, that was what his eyes said. That and, "Hn," of course.

The next day, when we finished the journey home, he didn't speak any more than he had so far, but it felt like he was truly part of the team again. He continued to pretend Sai didn't exist, but he looked at Sakura-chan when she talked to him about something, and he even called me dobe twice.

As I said, it was just like old times, except that we were older, and Sai is good, I suppose, but he's no Kakashi. It went on like that for a few weeks. When we weren't on missions, Sasuke and I would spar a lot, or sometimes I helped him rebuild his family house. He'd get mad fast if everything wasn't perfect, though, so it usually didn't last long. When Ichiraku reopened, we all went there together, even Sasuke, and I started forgetting he had ever left.

I was a jounin. I had my own team. I had my best friend back. It was all… perfect.

And then it happened. I guess we should have seen it coming. The peace couldn't last, it was bound to break at some point. And it did.

Sasuke's fanclub was reborn, and all hell broke loose.

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	2. The Rabid Fangirls of Doom

**Part 2 - The Rabid Fangirls of Doom**

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I never liked Sasuke's fangirls. The giggling and the blushing and the turning around him like bees around a really delicious flower – not that Sasuke looks anything like a flower, it's just a metaphor, see. Writers use them to describe stuff. Jiraiya told me about them – so all that stuff, it was just annoying when we were young. And no, I was not jealous.

Now that we were older and they weren't just looking from afar but coming closer and closer and even talking to him, it was downright maddening. You'd think they would have caught a clue when he never talked back to them. But no, the more he ignored them, the more clingy they got.

Every time we got back from a mission, there would be a couple of them waiting at the gates. They had food for Sasuke, and warm damp towels to clean off his face and hands from the dust of the road, and they'd fight over who got to walk by his side and ooh'ed and aaah'ed over any new scar or injury. Not that he got hurt a lot. They ooh'ed and aaaah'ed about that too. They never seemed to realize that he had a great team and an even greater captain with him and that's why he didn't get hurt.

The one good thing in all that was that Sakura-chan wasn't part of all this insanity. Once, she even asked me, "Was I ever that bad?" I lied. I said she wasn't. That seemed to please her.

The waiting at the gates committee was bad enough. But then, they also started to come to the training grounds when we sparred. They'd cheer him on, and make banners for him, and generally act like fools. Once, one of them even fainted when he took off his shirt. Fools, I tell you. I have nicer abs than he does, and at least I'm not pale like a ghost. And no, I am not jealous.

The worst though was when we went to Ichiraku after sparring. Sasuke always complained about it, but somehow we went together at least once a week. There weren't too many other choices for dining out yet. It was hard to savor the artistry of a beautifully prepared bowl of ramen when there were chattering girls all around ordering what Sasuke ordered and cooing every time he brought his chopsticks to his mouth. They spoiled everything.

I waited for him to explode and chidori them all to hell – or at least tell them they were annoying – but three weeks passed and he didn't say or do a thing. And then I had enough. He hadn't exploded, but I did. One day, after lunch, I dragged him inside my apartment where the fangirls wouldn't follow, and grabbed the sides of his shirt to shake him a bit. He made electricity run through his body and I had to let go. The corner of his mouth twitched, so I guess he was amused, the bastard. I wasn't.

"Are you so fucking vain that you need all these girls around you all the time to tell you how fantastic you are?"

He blinked, then frowned. "What are you blabbering about now?"

"Your fangirls!" I shrieked (in a very manly fashion). "I'm talking about your fangirls! Haven't you noticed we can't take two steps inside Konoha without being surrounded? They almost trampled me twice just this week!"

He let out a big sigh at that. "It's not like I can do anything about it."

I couldn't believe what he said. I gaped at him. "What do you mean, you can't do anything?"

He looked at my sofa like he wanted to sit down, but grimaced and seemed to change his mind. I guess I should clean off those dried ramen stains, now that I think about it, they kinda look like I jacked off on the cushions.

"I mean," he said, sounding resigned, "that nothing ever worked. I used to tell them every year I didn't like candy, and they'd just get me more and more for Valentine's Day. I'd throw it away, and they still brought me a box the next year. I said I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, and I still ended up with half a dozen cakes and a collection of plush toys every year. The more I argue, the more I act rude, the more rabid they get." He shrugged. "So I just started to ignore them. I barely notice them anymore."

I crossed my arms and thought about that. I could see how his reasoning went, but it clearly wasn't working. "It's clearly not working," I pointed out. "Plus, the situation has changed. There's less available bachelors in Konoha, and you're older and sexier now, and of course they want to jump your bones and make little Uchiha babies with you."

His face turned crimson and his eyes were so big and wide, I thought he was going to mangekyou me or something. He sputtered some incomprehensible nonsense, but I didn't listen. I had a plan.

"What you need," I said, really happy for having thought of it, "is to just pick one. Make her your official girlfriend or something, and the others will give up."

Even as I said it, I realized I didn't really like that idea. Girlfriends are meddlesome and I didn't want our sparring time to be cut. So I added, just so he wouldn't get the wrong idea, "You don't have to like her or spend time with her at all, just give her the title is all."

He frowned for a little while, and then made one of his little "Hn" noises. I guess he realized I was right. I'm just not sure he really understood what I had said, because he fisted his hand over my jacket and dragged me out. Of course, there was a bunch of fangirls there. They shrieked when he appeared, but then fell completely silent when he pushed me against the wall, trapping my body with his, and grabbed my face with both hands and smashed his mouth against mine. I was so surprised, I opened my mouth to protest, and then his tongue was there, all warm and sweeter than I'd have imagined – not that I ever imagined it – and touching everywhere inside my mouth. His thigh slipped between mine, and he started humping my leg a bit. It took me a little while to realize he was hard. And his hands… his hands were all over me, slipping beneath my jacket and mesh t-shirt, brushing over my nipples and damn, I never knew before that they could be that sensitive.

I groaned in protest at the assault. Sasuke says I whimpered, but that's an absolute lie. I do not whimper. Ever. (Or maybe I do when I get ramen after I've gone a long time without and I'm really hungry, but that's really the only time.)

Before I could really understand what was going on, Sasuke pulled away. His eyes were those damn red pinwheels, and he was flushed, and breathing really hard. He looked at me for a little while, then turned around. All the fangirls were gone.

"I guess you were right," he said, a little out of breath. I'm pretty sure he even smiled.

He stuck his hands in his pockets, and then he left. Like nothing had happened. Left me there, and went home, I suppose, with no rabid fangirls to slow him down.

And I could just stand there, with my jacket pushed halfway up on my chest, and the wall a very necessary support behind me, and my cock throbbing from the sudden lack of stimulation, and my mouth still open in that protest I had never voiced. I stood there, and watched him go, and decided that, as a friend, it was my duty to help Sasuke. Surely, one little demonstration wouldn't be enough. If we didn't have a repeat performance, the word would spread and the vultures would be back. So we'd have to do it again. Where people could see. In the name of friendship, and all that.

Because I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and helping my friends is my way of the ninja!

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	3. I Fucked the Bastard

**Part 3 - I Fucked the Bastard**

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The next day, we went on a new mission. If I hadn't been there when the bastard almost assaulted me, I wouldn't have guessed anything had happened. And indeed, Sakura-chan and Sai noticed nothing. At least, nothing about Sasuke. They did notice I was pissed off. You would have been too.

I mean, I call him bastard all the time but how inconsiderate is he, really? He didn't even thank me for helping him with his fangirls problem. Not just that, but he wasn't even looking at me. I'd know if he had – I kept checking. But since I'm a great captain and I didn't want the team and the mission to suffer, I didn't say anything to him.

Three days. For three days, he didn't look at me. Didn't talk to me except to acknowledge orders when we got to that stupid town. He put his sleeping bag as far away from mine as he could when we slept out, and the one night we slept at a hotel, he made sure Sai slept between us. If I hadn't known any better, I could easily have believed that I was the one who had forced my tongue down his throat instead of the other way around. I could almost have believed he hadn't enjoyed it. Bastard.

I figured, once we returned to Konoha, I'd take him aside and punch him or something. Except, when we did return to Konoha, Sasuke took matters in his own hands. Literally.

I don't know how his welcoming committee managed to be there every time we returned. They must have had spies, or wards or something. In any case, they were there when we arrived, just before nightfall. I guess they hadn't heard about Sasuke's little show.

Well, they got their own show to gossip about.

As soon as we got close enough to see the doors and the people waiting beyond it, Sasuke got nearer. I looked at him sideways, wondering if he was planning on a repeat performance. Just in case, I wet my lips a bit. I wasn't too sure I wanted Sakura-chan and Sai to see it – I mean, it would take a lot of explaining. Also, I was still mad at him for the silent treatment of the past days. Just the same, I couldn't let a friend down in a time of need, so I was ready for it. But Sasuke didn't assault my lips again. Instead, he took a last step to the side so that our elbows bumped each other. And then, very casually, he slid his arm behind me and stuck his hand my pants back pocket. He grabbed my ass and pulled me closer so that we were practically hip-to-hip as we walked on. The bastard pretends I yelped when he did. I absolutely did not. I just made a little surprised noise, nothing more. And if my cheeks burned, it must have been because I got sunburned, that's all.

And believe me, I wasn't the only one surprised. All Sai did was raise his eyebrows and smile a little more widely. But Sakura-chan… I thought her eyes were going to pop. She had been walking just a little ahead of us, and she turned back when I made noise. She stopped dead in her tracks. Her mouth was a perfect little O. She looked back and forth between Sasuke and me, but already we were passing by her. I'd have stopped, but Sasuke just pushed forward. And that's how we entered Konoha. With Sasuke's hand on my ass. His fangirls stared. They made some little disgruntled sounds. But they didn't follow us.

"I…" I had to clear my throat to get the words out. "I'll go give our report to Tsunade. You three can go and get some rest. Good job."

I hurried up, freeing myself from Sasuke's hold, and didn't look back. I had heard Sai comment on the redness of my face, and I didn't care to hear more. Next he'd start asking who was on top, and I really didn't want to have those kinds of thoughts in my mind. It was much too confusing.

I gave my report and came out of the Tower expecting someone to be waiting for me – Sai with taunts, Sakura-chan with questions, or Sasuke with… I don't know. More confusion. But no one was there. I'll admit I was a bit disappointed. Hands buried in my pockets, I followed my growling stomach. When in doubt, I say, go for ramen.

As soon as I reached the street where the Ichiraku stand is, I knew who was in there. A couple of girls were standing outside, muffling giggles behind their hands and peering in. I stopped. I wasn't sure I wanted to go in and get molested again without even a word of thanks or anything. I mean, I didn't mind helping him, but a bit of consideration would have been nice, too. I don't like being used all that much.

In the end, though, I was too hungry. If nothing else, Sasuke owed me dinner. I walked in. There was just one free seat on his right. I sat there and ordered, and while old man Teuchi prepared the food, I turned to the bastard. He hadn't even touched his own bowl, and it looked like it was cold now.

"Why do you even come here?" I asked. "You don't even _like_ ramen."

He shrugged and poked at his ramen with his chopsticks. "I didn't have anything better in my fridge."

Coming from Sasuke, it sounded just wrong. When the bastard wants something, he runs for it, never mind the obstacles ahead or the hurt he leaves behind. He doesn't just settle. So what was he not saying, I wondered as I slurped down my first bowl. I ordered a second one and leaned in closer to him to whisper conspiratorially.

"Doesn't look like the plan worked. The enemy is still around."

My eyes flickered to the girls behind him, but he didn't follow my gaze. He just frowned. And looked pissed off.

"Only you could be that moronic," he muttered.

I didn't have time to wonder what was wrong with him or insult him back. He was gone in a puff of smoke, leaving behind his untouched bowl, disappointed fangirls, and a tab that I had to pick up for him. That last part was the straw that broke the vase. I was helping him and everything, and in return he insulted me and left me to pay for food he wasted. Typical bastard. And I was fed up with it.

I finished my dinner – because even if I was mad, I wasn't crazy enough to waste perfectly good ramen – and then I ran through the village to his house. I pounded on the door for a while, but he wasn't there. I thought fast. Konoha was close to getting back to what it once was, but there still weren't that many places where I could imagine Sasuke going. My best bet, I figured, was the training grounds.

I was right. Am I good or what?

Captain Yamato had put some hard work into growing trees back in and around Konoha. The bastard seemed intent on destroying them all. There were two charred trees where I found him, the blackened wood still smoldering. Two more looked like they had exploded; my bet was on chidori. And for now, Sasuke was beating the trunk of a fifth tree with his fists, occasionally kicking it too. Poor tree.

"Hey, bastard," I called out. "Why don't you fight someone who can actually defend himself?"

He glanced back at me but didn't stop beating up the tree. "And be confined to D-rank missions? I don't think so."

I scratched the back of my head. I had forgotten Tsunade's threat. Still, he was being ridiculous and I was ready to risk the punishment – mostly because I didn't believe she'd ground us. She couldn't afford to, not when she needed every team to go on missions. I got closer to him, and when he swung his fist again, I caught it and pulled on his arm, making him face me. He glared at me – what else is new?

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I snarled.

"Let. Go. Of me."

He started gathering electricity into his hand. I clenched my teeth and tightened my hold despite the discomfort. If he thought he could get rid of me that easily, he was in for a surprise.

"Dead last…" he said warningly. "Don't—"

"Don't what?" I glared back at him. "Don't help you when those girls are tired of just watching and they tear you apart to get a piece of you? Don't come looking for you the next time you disappear? Don't be the only friend you have? Is that what you want, Sasuke? Because right now—"

I never got to tell him that right then, I was fed up with him. Fed up with being ignored, mocked, insulted and treated like I didn't matter one bit – like I was nothing to him rather than his best friend. I never got to tell him, because his eyes had turned into those damn red pinwheels, and in the blink of an eye, I was trapped in an illusion. It looked just like the training grounds, except that everything seemed a bit blurry. Everything except the bastard and me.

I let go of his arm and rolled my eyes at him. "What? You're so afraid of taking me in the real world that you've got to resort to dirty tricks now?"

He didn't even look like he had heard me. He was frowning, his eyes a bit unfocused, not really looking at anything. And then he shook his head, muttered something that sounded like a curse, and returned his eyes to me. Even in the illusion, they were still spinning wildly.

"You asked what I want," he said, each word clear and precise, like he was controlling himself tightly. "I'll tell you. Because if I wait for you to figure it out, I'll still be waiting when you're Hokage."

His hand rose to grip the sleeve of his shirt. He ripped it away, and it disappeared – along with the rest of his clothes.

And along with mine too.

Not that I noticed right away. It'd been a long time since I'd seen Sasuke naked, and even then, the baths had been all foggy and I hadn't really been looking at him anyway. But now, for some really unexplainable reason, I found myself looking. Really looking. Noticing little scars, here and there, that hadn't been there when we were genin. Noticing how, even with the scars, his skin seemed flawless; it almost glowed in that surreal world he had created. Noticing, in the end, his cock jutting out at half-mast and filling out even as I watched.

I gulped, and winced when I realized that seeing _him_ hard was making _me_ hard. I just had the time to be thankful for my clothes, just had the time to wonder what was wrong with me, and then I noticed. I was as naked as he was. And he was ogling me just as shamelessly as I had ogled him.

"That's what I want," he said, and now his voice wasn't as strong anymore. I'm pretty sure it even was shaking a bit.

I opened my mouth to reply – what, I have no idea – and then suddenly his lips were against mine, his arms closing around me, his whole body pressed tight alongside mine and there was no more time for words. There was just kissing, and groping, and grinding.

That first kiss in front of my apartment had left me breathless and just a bit weak in the knees. This one was a hundred times worse. I mean, better. I mean… You know what I mean.

It just took me two seconds to forget we were in an illusion. Sasuke's tongue felt really real when it slid inside my mouth and caressed mine. And his hands felt real too, one stroking my hair, the other on my ass. And his skin, too, wherever we touched; he felt kinda cool – or maybe I was just burning. One part of him was hot, though. Very hot, and very smooth, and a bit wet, and every time he bucked his hips I couldn't help replying the same way, because our cocks rubbing against each other like this? Trust me. It was _good_. Better than I had ever imagined.

Not that I had ever imagined it. Of course not.

I didn't even blink when he pushed me backwards, and instead of falling down, I found myself lying on a bed. A nice, big bed with really soft sheets. We kind of messed the sheets a bit, with all the rolling and turning we did. I was trying to pin him down, and he was doing the very same thing.

See, I'd never given thought before about doing this with a boy – well, not really thought about it at least – but I had a few well-used fantasy about girls. I knew, in theory, what to do to a girl. I also knew, though I was a bit less sure there, what to do to a boy. But having a boy do something _to me_? That just didn't compute. My mind kept getting stuck on one thought – I'm not a girl – and I couldn't get past it.

We could have stayed like this for a long time, each pushing the other onto his back before being pushed in turn. Maybe in the real world neither of us would have given in, and we'd have resorted to handjobs – or to a real fight. But, even if I had forgotten it, we weren't in the real world. We were in Sasuke's little fantasy. What Sasuke wanted, Sasuke got. Including my ass.

He had managed to pin me down, again, and I was about to shove him off me, again, when I found myself unable to move. It was like ropes were holding me down with my arms and legs spread on each side of me. I looked at my hands, but I could see nothing there. A flash of blind fear ran through me, and I tried pulling harder, and bucking, to no effect. And then Sasuke's hand rested on my cheek, just barely, and brought my attention back to him. I was about to yell at him and demand that he let me go, but he quieted both me and my fears with just a few words.

"Please… Naruto, let me…"

His voice was trembling with need. He had said please. To me. And he had called me Naruto.

Between you and me? He could have asked me for anything at that moment. Anything at all.

But all he wanted was me. And I said yes. And then I could move again, but I didn't try to get above him anymore. I let him—

Well, you get the picture.

When we got out of the illusion, I was still holding Sasuke's wrist. Neither of our bodies had moved one bit. And still, we were both flushed. And both our pants were wet and sticky.

Sasuke's eyes were black again. They were also more uncertain than I had ever seen them. He didn't say a word, just looked at me and waited.

"So…" I cleared my throat.

"So," Sasuke repeated in a too blank voice.

"That's what you want, huh?"

"That's what I want."

I found myself grinning before I really knew it. Sasuke's features softened, just a little. He looked… relieved, I guess. Although I'm not sure what he was relieved about.

I cleared my throat again, and then I said, "How about we go back to my place. I'll show you what _I_ want."

So we went there. And I showed him. And I, Uzumaki Naruto, got to fuck Uchiha Sasuke.

Two days later, when we got out of my apartment to hunt down some food, some fangirls spotted us. They noticed the hickeys on Sasuke's neck and the matching ones on mine. I guess they added two and two, and finally figured out their idol was taken.

The fanclub declared three days of general mourning. The rest of Konoha was a bit bewildered, I think. Tsunade got drunk – and so did Sakura. Talk about setting a good example for your students!

And then, the fangirls decided that Sasuke and I looked cute together, and they started following us around, and swooning when they caught us kissing, and that one time when they found us in the bushes—

Well, that's another story. Ask me another time. I've got to go, now. There's a bastard waiting for me at home.

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**The End**

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_I hope you enjoyed. If you did - or even if you did not - i'd love to hear your thoughts._


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